Chapter 6: Mr. Meanbanker from the bank

So here's the new new chapter.

Mr. Meanbanker from the bank arrived at Q-chan's small farm at precisely 2 PM. There was a scowl on his face, and he meant business. He stepped in exactly three cowpies on his way in. When he meant business he tended to look directly in front of him, and as a result, he tended not to notice thing on the ground.
It was about the time that Lotty returned from the bathroom that Mr. Meanbanker from the bank knocked on the door. “I'll get it!” Q-chan exclaimed in a sing-song voice. Of course, it was her house, so there really wasn't any question about which one of them would get it.
Q-chan opened the front door to reveal the menacing figure of Mr. Meanbanker. Dressed all in black, his mustache nearly curling up to the brim of his top hat, Mr. Meanbanker stood in stark contrast to the peaceful farmland around him.
“Are you the one they call Q?” He asked. His eyes seemed to pierce directly into Q-chan's very soul.
“Yeah, that's me!” Q-chan replied.
With a flutter of his long black cape, Mr. Meanbanker drew a legal document from out of his pocket and handed it to Q-chan.
“I'm Horace Meanbanker.” He said, glaring down at her with the ire he reserved for child molesters and people who defaulted on mortgage payments. “I work for the bank, and you're three payments behind.”
“Yeah,” Q-chan replied, a little embarrassed. “Business hasn't been too good lately.”
“Oh hasn't it?” Meanbanker replied, “maybe that's because you don't grow anything.” Meanbanker gestured to the land surrounding Q-chan's house. It was empty save for the various farm animals she had collected. There was no evidence of a crop, or of any sort of harvesting equipment.
“As far as I can tell, Ms. Q,” Meanbanker continued, “what you call a farm is just a loose collection of livestock, unrestrained and untended. I ran into a cow out on the lawn!”
“I noticed,” Q-chan said, smiling. She could smell the scent of manure rising from Meanbanker's shoes, that's why she hadn't invited him in.
“Nevertheless, if you miss one more payment, I will have no further option but to foreclose!” Meanbanker intoned, twirling his mustache wickedly. He turned to leave, but then turned back a second later.
“On a completely unrelated note!” He shouted at the top of his lungs. “I must compliment you on your exquisite lawn care technique! I can spy not a single dandelion, whereas my lawn is forever troubled by that meddlesome weed. Good day ma'am!” Having said his piece, Meanbanker turned around with a flourish of his cape and headed out through the yard. This time he had the presence of mind to avoid the cowpies.
“What was that about?” Lotty asked. She'd seen Mr. Meanbanker before, but never this far out of town.
“He says if I don't make my next mortgage payment he's gonna foreclose on me!” Q-chan exclaimed. This was the first time Lotty had ever heard Q-chan sound worried. Even when she had spilled the coffee earlier, there had still been a hint of joy in her voice, and a glimmer of hope for things to come.
Q-chan opened the envelope to see that it was a final notice from the bank. No surprise there, but it made Meanbanker's threats seem all the more real.
“Oh, Lotty, what am I gonna do?” She asked pathetically. “I'm starting to think that my new cow isn't lucky at all...”
“Well, I'm glad you're finally being reasonable.” Lotty replied. She felt sorry for her friend, but she couldn't help feeling vindicated in her opinions about the new cow. “After all, what use is a cow that just stands around all day eating dandelions?”
Upon hearing this, Q-chan's entire body stiffened. He eyeballs began to bulge out of her skull, as if she'd just had an idea so big it threatened to shove them out to make room for itself.
“That's it!” she exclaimed.
“What's it?” Lotty asked, keeping in mind the old adage about asking stupid questions.
“She eats dandelions! Look! She didn't just eat that one, she ate every single one that was on my lawn!” Q-chan gestured to her lawn, which was indeed entirely free from dandelions. The one they had seen the cow eat had only been the last of many.
“So what?” Lotty shrugged, “she's just a weird cow who won't eat grass.”
“But that's exactly it!” Q-chan said, frustrated at Lotty's failure to grasp her idea. “She eats dandelions, but she doesn't eat grass! She's like an all natural weed removal service!”
“She's what?” Lotty, asked, still failing to follow.
“We can take her to other people lawns, and charge them to get rid of the dandelions!” Q-chan explained. “And then we can use the money to pay Mr. Meanbanker from the bank!”
“What do you mean 'we?'” Lotty asked, understandably worried. “This isn't my farm. I just wanted to borrow salt.”
“This is perfect!” Q-chan shouted, jumping for joy. “The same time I get a final notice from the bank, a special cow shoes up to help me make some money! How lucky is that?”
“You have a very strange definition of luck, Q.” Lotty replied.
“Quick, help me hitch up the cow trailer! We're going into town right away to get started!”
“Again, you say 'we'” Lotty said, distressed. “But this is not my farm, and that's not my cow, so I don't see why you think-”
“Look!” Q-chan interrupted in an alarming, threatening tone. “You can ride up front with me, or you can ride in the trailer with the cow, but either way you're coming with me!”
Lotty gulped and then meekly went to go hook up the cow trailer. Q-chan was frightening when angered, and would have no qualms about locking her in a trailer with a smelly cow for hours on end.
And so it was that one of the greatest partnerships in professional landscaping was born. Q-chan, Lotty, and their very special cow would henceforth be known as The Dandelion Zappers. Or, at least, that was the name that Q-chan stenciled on the side of her truck. A mere hour and a half later, the trailer was hooked up, and Lotty and Q-chan were on their way into town to ply their newfound trade.
From off in the distance, the evil wizard Pretorius looked on. “Excellent!' he said aloud to no one in particular. “The flight out here drained supercow of his energy, but soon these oblivious fools will fill her full of enough dandelions to restore her full energy. And then, after I have murdered those two idiots and stolen the cow back, the awesome luck and power of the supercow will once again be mine! All mine!” He let out a laugh, and evil laugh that confused and disturbed everyone around him, for he had chosen an outdoor cafe as his place of refuge while he waited for the supercow's energy to be restored.
“Sir, you're disturbing the other patrons with your constant laughing and monologuing” a well-intentioned waiter interjected. For his trouble, the waiter was turned into a newt.
“Fool!” Pretorius intoned melodramatically, “you dare to deprive me of my right to monologue and laugh? And I ordered my coffee like half an hour ago! Where is it? Where?”
Unaware of this distant danger, Lotty and Q-chan continued into town. They had no clue that the mysterious cow in the trailer behind them was the legendary and powerful supercow of legend, and that fate had conspired to throw them into an awesome adventure, a battle of good versus evil the likes of which the world had never before seen.

Chapter 5: Cow Death Stare

Oh, wai, hi thar.

Yes, you're going to keel me.

SO LONG AGO THAT BRAINDED WAS ESTABLISHED.

HOPEFULLY IT HAS RESURRECTED AND WILL STAY ALIVE.

HOPEFULLY. ]:

Here's Andrew G's long forgotten chapter...

The sun peaked over the hill top, slowly rising up. The animals on Q-Chan’s farm were just beginning to wake from their slumber. The newly purchased cow, however, had not gone to sleep the evening before.. In fact, he still stood in the same spot that Q-Chan and Lotty had left him. The cow stood perfectly still and stared at the front door of Q-Chan’s home, there was an odd glint in the cow’s beady cow-like eyes.
Q-Chan got out of bed and readied herself for the day. She opened the front door and found the cow staring directly at her, looking deeply in her eyes.
“That.. may be the most disturbing thing I have ever seen..”
Q-Chan moved away, but could not shake the feeling that the cow was still watching her. Finally she went over to the cow and examined it. She poked it, it did nothing. She clapped her hands, again the cow did nothing. Q-Chan rested her hand upon the cows head. Seconds later her house was in flames. The cow had shot laser beams out of its eyes. Q-Chan stared at the burning pile of rubble that seconds ago was her home.
“Oh…..shit…….” , Q-Chan squeaked.
“WHY COW?!?! WHY??? WHAT KIND OF DEMON COW ARE YOU???”
The cow mooed happily and stuck out its tongue.
“You.. cow! Stay here, and no more lighting things on fire!”
Q-Chan ran over to Lotty’s house as fast as her legs could carry her.
“The cow shot lasers from its eyes and burned down your house”
“Yeah.. IT IS A DEMON”
“Right.. and I’m George Fucking Washington”
“Just come with me, kayyyy?”
“ Fine..”
Q-Chan brought Lotty back to her farm to expect the cow.
‘’IT IS SOME SORT OF DEMON, LOTTY!! LOOK INTO ITS EYES!! WAIT, NOO! DON’T DO THAT! IT WILL LIGHT YOU ON FIYA!!”
“ I… Think you have gone insane.. and WHY ARE YOU YELLING!?!”
“….Sorry… but ..bu…t.. the cow.. it shoots lazzarrrs.. from… its eyes”, Q-chan said while pretending to shoot lasers from her own eyes.
“I also fly.”
“WHO THE FUCK SAID THAT??!”, both Lotty and Q-chan screamed .
The cow mooed happily, then proceeded to charge at both Lotty and Q-chan and flipped them both onto his back. Flames shot out of the cows backside and it was soon airborne.
“Moooooo! Of we head to Isle del Calcetines del Muertes!

Chapter 4: Meanwhile, In Another Time Zone

OMG. HI GUYS.

Sorry so loooooong! Sooooo busy. ];

Anyways, since I'm so brain ded...har har...I cannot think for shiz about the cow.

SO. I asked my homie Connor aka "The Letter M" to write Chapter 4! :D

He is now a new addition to the Brain Ded team.

TREAT HIM WELL.

Jack slouched at the bar nursing his eighth bourbon of the night. After losing that last game of poker, he headed straight to the bar and started drinking. That was four hours ago.

“Not your night, huh Jack?” The bartender asked. Like all bartenders, he was learned in the art of sympathy.

“No...not my night.” Jack parroted back to him, downing the last of his bourbon. “I used to be lucky, you know. Real lucky.”

“Oh yeah? So what the hell happened?” The bartender asked with a smirk. He knew Jack wasn't a good tipper, so he could be as rude as he wanted.

"As soon as I figure it out, I'll tell you.” Jack said with a sigh. Without another word, he pulled a couple of bucks out of his pocket, placed them on the bar, put his hat on his head, and walked out into the night. The bartender started washing the eight glasses Jack had left behind, and was almost done with the seventh when Jack, wild-eyed and panicked, burst back in through the door.

“There's a car!” Jack screamed at the top of his lungs. “There's a car in my parking space!”

“So what?” The bartender asked, annoyed by the sudden shouting.

“Well I didn't come here in a car, I flew here on a cow! There should be a cow in my space!” Jack explained helpfully.

“Okay, Jack, give me your keys.” The bartender demanded. He'd been through this exact scenario a thousand times. Jack was obviously drunk beyond reason, and who would be liable if he crashed into a bus full of nuns? The bartender, that's who.

“Cows don't have keys!” Jack shouted, surprised at the bartender's idiocy. “Somebody must have stolen it while I was inside. That's why I lost the game, don't you see? THAT'S WHY I LOST THE GAME!”

“Listen Jack, there's a cot out back, why don't you go sleep it off. No charge.”

“No time!” Jack exclaimed. “I might still be able to find them!”

“Find who?”

“Whoever stole my cow!” and with that Jack rushed back out into the street. But when you are drunk and all out of luck, the street is a dangerous place. Jack had been supernaturally lucky for five years, and now the universe was out for revenge. Jack immediately stepped in a puddle, and the slick pavement gave way beneath his leather shoe. He hurdled several feet forwards, and just barely steadied himself in time to avoid falling on his face.

But while he managed to avoid falling on his face, he was now standing in the middle of the road, and he didn't manage to avoid an oncoming van. “It's just not my night, is it?” was the last thought to go through his head before everything went black.

Ch 3 Le sigh

Q-chan began pouring Lotty-chan's coffee as she watched the cow outside the window, eventually causing the coffee in Lotty-chan's mug to overflow.
Lotty-chan soon noticed and reacted, "AH HEY HEY watch what you're doing! You're getting coffee all over the place!"
"OH crap sorry!" Q-chan said as she rushed into the kitchen to get some napkins.
"What the crap is your problem? It's the cow isn't it? I told you it's fishy, didn't you say it brings luck? Doesn't seem like it at the moment.."
"Noooo no I zoned out for a moment, my fault, not the cow's" Q-chan said as she wiped up the coffee.
"Mmmmmmmmmhmm" Lotty-chan said with disbelief.
Q-chan poured Lotty-chan a new cup of coffee as well as herself and sat at the table with Lotty-chan. Time passed as they slowly sipped their hot coffee, looking out the window watching the motionless cow. It still wouldn't graze, and Q-chan began to worry that perhaps it was sickly, and sighed at her stupidity for wasting money.

Just then the cow lowered it's head and ate a dandelion by it's front hoof, then returned to it's previous position.

"Well look at that, it finally ate, what I tell ya? Just give it a little while," Q-chan said happily.

".....Riiiiiiight, it ate a weed, one little weed, oo it's totally settling in," Lotty-chan said sarcastically as she slowly nodded her head. "I'm going to use your bathroom for a sec and then head home I guess, that cow weirds me out."

Q-chan nodded her head and looked back out the window, letting out another sigh at her rotten luck.

Chapter 2: Fishy Cow

Woah snaps it's been forever.

But! I have been once more inspired since I'm tempted to use Lotty + Q-chan, maybe even the doggeh in my Flash class for a webisode. :3

Wouldn't that be nice? Yes, yes it would.

As Lotty trekked home, huggling her bag of salt close to her chest, she began to drift off in her sea of thoughts. The pads on her feet smacked the concrete sidewalks as her bare feet hopped to and fro. Every so often, her thoughts came across the newest cow in Q-chan's collection. "A new cow," Lotty thought. How interesting indeed.

You see, Q-chan was very fond of cows. She grew up raising them with her family. Lotty-chan however, was not at all a farm girl. Domestic animals were more to her domain. Her posse consisted of a dog, a few water turtles, a huge aquarium filled with goldfish, some birds, and a cat. Lotty could not understand why anybody would want a cow of all creatures to take care of. They stink, they're stupid, all they do is eat grass until they're fat and die without even realizing a day went by. "A horse, at least! Or a mule, my GAWD! But, a cow? Ew," Lotty cursed.

But, recalling the newest cow in Q-chan's field, something seemed a bit off. The cow just stood there. Doing nothing, as cows do, but it didn't move at the slightest. It wasn't even eating grass...and cows...well, eat grass.

"What the crap? All cows do is eat grass...all that cow did was stand there and stare at nothing."

Pondering, Lotty stared at the bag of salt in her hands. Determined, Lotty stomped and turned around and headed back to Q-chan's domain.

Arriving at Q-chan's farm, it was a little past sunset. When Q-chan saw Lotty coming up to her front porch with the salt bag, Q-chan became concerned.

"Lotty? The salt bad?"

"Uh, hi, Q-chan. No, I mean, I'm not sure yet. Haven't tried the salt. I came back because I was thinking about your new cow. Is it okay?"

"Okay? It seems fine to me..."

"I dunnooooo. I mean, just look at it."

Crickets begin to chirp as they all look out the front porch to stare at the cow who stared right back at them innocently.

"It's not doing anything."

"That IS what cows do, Lotty. You come to experience that a lot when you're around them."

"Yeah, I get that. But, do cows not eat grass when they come to a new home or something? You'd think cows wouldn't care or even know the difference. Eat, eat ,eat."

"Of course cows eat grass all the time, that cow is doing just...that."

"No..."

"Huh. Well, I'll be damned."

"The cow IS looking straight at us. Even though it does have that dumb look on it's stupid cow face."

"Hey, hey. Leave him alone. Give it a day or two. He'll come around, I'll bet."

"If you say so."

"Well, since you're here, how 'bout I fix you up with some fish to go with that salt? Coffee?"

"Fish....that cow is damn fishy. Bug eyed fishy cow. Oh, yeah, fish. Coffee. Please."

Argentinean moocow

There was once a legend that spoke of legendary things of great legend. This legendary tale began with a legendary cow that did legendary things. This legendary cow came from a legendary land of many legends. Legends, of legend.

The great legendary Argentinean moocow would seem at first to be your average, ordinary, every day kind of cow, but it's owner, Q-chan, knew it's secret, it's legendary secret. A secret that is only known in this legend. This legend which is about to be told, this very minute, this very second, this very millisecond, this very nanosecond, this very pi to the fourth second... this very legendary second.

Q-chan was working the fields when a man with a cow approached her, offering her the cow for a reasonably low price. However, Q-chan had no need for the cow, she had plenty already and there was no room for a new one. The man persisted, saying that this was no ordinary cow, this cow brings much luck and fortune, and legend. Eventually agreeing, Q-chan took the cow from the man and walked it to the fields wondering what she'll do with such a cow. She looked at it, inspected it, stared at it, poked it, and no matter what she did, it acted like an ordinary cow just grazing along. She shrugged and figured she'd give it a week to see if any actual luck or fortune comes her way.

Later on that day her friend Lotty-chan came over for some salt, and had noticed the extra cow in the fields, so she began to question Q-chan. After everything was explained Lotty-chan nodded her head rather slowly and left as soon as she received her salt.

Q-chan, noticing the "you're stupid for believing him" look as Lotty-chan left, sighed deeply and looked out the window at the cow. She couldn't put her finger on it but there must be some truth behind what the man said, something seemed off about the cow, but what?

Chapter 12: Revenge of the Baby

Sorry ya'll for taking so long.
It's been super slow. ]:
But, this is gonna be the last chapter of the tale of Cutish and the Lightning Baby. OOO;
Yes, yes, I know you're all drowning in tears at the loss of the Lightning Baby, but FEAR NOT.
A new story is fast approaching! Yay!

(With the puffin help and the title, thanks, Maya! :3)

Rizzo full of bruises and two black eyes with feathers floating onto the ship's deck gradually was knocked out with squiggly lines streaming from his unconscious head. Lotty sat on his fat pidgeony body making Rizzo go 'oof' despite him being unconscious. Lotty began beaming and the frightening change of personality immediately disappeared from sight.
Cutish had her jaw dropped as far as it would go as she stared at Lotty and at Rizzo, and back again.
Did Lotty seriously just kick that bird's ass in less than ten seconds flat? How on earth......?
"Ah forget it," she thought.
"She is a lightning baby after all...whatever that is..."
"Ah, good job there, Lotty! That's my lovely pirate crew mate!" praised John.
"Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaar Daneyyyyyyyyyyyy!" belted Lotty at John.
"Now what?" Cutish asked in a blunt tone at John.
"Well, it's obvious, ain't it not, Miss Cutish?"
"No..."
"OFF TO THE HORIZOOOOOOOOOOOON!" screamed Lotty as she glomped Cutish.
Cutish screamed as she fell backwards onto the ship's deck.
Lotty purred and started bouncing up and down making Cutish's bones creak loudly.
"Ow! Ow! Owwww! Stoppit stoppit stoppit!"
"Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmkay!"
"Thar she blooooows, Lotty! Go sic 'em!"
Lotty bounded up and stood at attention and saluted Sir John.
"Yessir!" she belted as she jumped off the ship and sat on a nearby puffin and began flying around zooming past everyone's heads.

Chapter 11 bloody sea pidgeon!

Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugh braaaaaaaiiiiins *zombie*
*ded* *hack* *cough* *AHEM*

"................................... Okay I wasn't myself back there when I said I'd tag along, I think I'll be leaving now, you guys have fun-" Cutish began to say after observing Rizzo the "sea ninja", when she was suddenly knocked off her feet and landed right on her ass.
"I got ye Rizzo!!!!!!!! Ye bloody sea pidgeon ninja!!!! This shall be ye final battle, arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh!!!!"
John rushed at Rizzo at full speed, unsheathing his swordfish and racing at Rizzo in a blind fury. His attempts to slay the sea ninja were useless however, the only way to fight fairly with a ninja, is to be a ninja yourself.

Several hours had passed, Cutish now up and watching the fight while rubbing her sore ass, and Lotty sitting beside her, arms and legs crossed, becoming more and more frustrated as the fight was getting nowhere. Her cheeks completely puffed out as she frowned, her entire body soon shaking from the boredom getting to her, until she finally forced herself up and pulled from her pocket a katana.

Within seconds, Rizzo was defeated by Lotty, he was down on his stubby bird knees, wings held up in a praying position, and tears streaming down as he begged for his life. Lotty, holding her threatening position for a while until Rizzo was nearly out of tears, broke the silence with an uplifting giggle and a wide smile spread across her face as she glomped the seagull.

Cutish stood with her mouth agape, Lotty had such a fierce expression, it was entirely out of character, it was as though she were a completely different person. Her title of "lightning baby" wasn't far from being true either, that fight was over within a flash, in fact, Cutish was pretty certain she heard a crackle along with a bright flash the minute Lotty drew her katana.

John, panting and down on all fours, was completely amazed. He was at a loss for words for what seemed ages, until he finally began to let out a deep laugh, soon enough he was on his back rolling around laughing, tears of joy trickling down his face.

"AHHHHHHH HAHAHA Lotty, ye be one heck of a girl!!!! Ye defeated me arch nemesis within mere seconds!!! Aye I be glad ye joined my crew, I'd be stiff as a lifeless board by now if it weren't for ye!"

Lotty, still smothering the seagull, looked at John smiling,

"Aw shucks Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaney!"

Chapter 10: Bird Droppings

Yo, wsup, guys?
SOOOOOO SORRY that it's been a while.
Danika is moving so...Yeah.
And this is not Lotty's post.
This actually is our first guest appearance with a chapter!
Meet Andrew Greminger. [:
Note, he thought that this chapter really wasn't his best work...so don't judge, aiite?
He's one of the most random people I know. :D
Enjoy.
And I'll add onto this next I get a chance which should be soon.
Thanks for keeping up, we love ya'll! <3


Once Lotty was able to calm herself down (and trust me, that takes a while) she ran full force toward John’s pirate ship. Cutish and John proceeded to sprint after in a feeble attempt to keep up with her inconceivable amount of hyperish energy. The good thing was though, if they fell too far behind, Lotty would have to run back to them every so often to make sure she was running in the correct direction of John’s ship. After a good 7 minutes of running, the trio arrived at their destination. John smiled widely and proclaimed,
“So mateys , this here be my ship. The great muskrat of the ocean, The Flying Elephant!”
Danny’s ship stood a good three stories tall and had an 800,000 horsepower V60 engine. The ship very obviously had seen its share of violence and pirate-iness, for it had various scratches and a rather large hole in the front that seemed to be filled with a whale. (Also, let the record show, it looked nothing like an elephant)
Lotty squinted hard, stuck her tongue out, and tilted her head slightly to the side.
“BBBBBUUUUUUUUUUUUUUTT… MR DANEY-JOHN PIRATE MAN SIR!!! I THOUGHT YOU SAID IT WAS A PIRATE SHIP??”
“Aye, lassie”
“SOOOOOOooooooooooo… uhm……… WHY DID YOU CALL IT AN ELEPHANT??
“The Flying Elephant be the ships name..”
“OKIE DOKIE!!!”
Cutish blinked rapidly at Lotty’s response and then promptly remembered who she was dealing with and shrugged it off. John led Lotty and Cutish aboard the Flying Elephant.
“All right you two, buckle yourselves in over there and then it’s off fer adventures!”
“YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

AAAAAAAYYYYYYYYY ADVENTUREEEEE!!! WEEEEEEEEE” Squealed Lotty.
“woo…..” chimed in Cutish in a feeble attempt to show enthusiasm.
John started the boat, and the three were off to the high seas.
“Okay, listen up you two!” called John “If either of you two scallywags see any sea-ninjas, you be sure to holler. Otherwise we all be dead men…….. and uhh… Women”
“SEA NINJASSSSSSSSS!!! SEA NINJASSSSSSSSSESESES!! I SEE THEM MR. DANEY!!! I SEEEEEES THEM!!!!” screamed Lotty. Cutish looked up toward what Lotty was screaming at. Cutish shook her head and said,
“No……Lotty………those are what we call seaGULLS, not sea-ninjas…. What the fuck is a sea-..” John interrupted, “AHHH SEA-NINJAS!! THEY BE UPPON US! EVERYONE BATTLE STATIONS, THEY BE TRICKY SON OF A BITCHES!!!”
“Okay Seriously..”, said Cuttish “they’re just seagulls!”
“Maybe to the untrained eye, miss… But to those who know better.. there disguise wont fool… They be sea-ninjas alright.. and from the looks of it, they be some of the most dangerous ones around”
One of the seagull(ninjas) landed on the ship. It eyed the three keenly. This seagull seemed different that the rest. It was red and its eyes shown a wicked blue and didn’t seem to ever focus completely, giving the impression that one pupil was always far larger than the other. John took a step back a whispered,
“ARGH.. It is as I feared… Rizzo is among us”

Chapter 9: Group Picture

Sorry for the delay there, guys!
Life gets hectic at times.
We FINALLY know what Cutish looks like. Yay!
Soon, you'll get to know what Pirate Man looks like despite the elaborate description. ;]

"Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy, oh boy, oh boy!!" Lotty began yelping as she jumped up and down and around in a circle, then suddenly sat down, hugging her knees staring up at the pirate with an eyepatch and a monocle.
The pirate smiled at the energetic girl and held out his hand towards Cutish.
"Would you like to sit, as well?"
Cutish was still highly suspicious of this mysterious man. Any friend of Lotty had to be a freak, in her opinion. She stared at him, ignoring his hand purposely and leaned against the wall and crossed her arms.
"I'm waiting."
"Well, first, let me introduce myself. My name is John Thomas Mack Bogard Danish Doe. You may call me Sir John or John if it suits you, miss Cutish. Your friend, the lightning baby told me your name."
"I'm NOT the lightning baby's friend," Cutish interrupted angrily.
"Isn't Cuteeeeeeesh such a great actress?! Daneyyyyyyyy. She should go to law school!"
"....Theatric school, you idiot."
"Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Yeah! That!"
"Well, regardless, it is a pleasure to meet you. And I dare say, it is a perfectly fitting name for such a beautiful young lady, Miss Cutish. Where was I? Ah. Yes, that is my name. I have already told Lotty my story while I assume you were inside the house. It includes a great deal of adventure, indeed! I found myself fighting pirates left and right! Ah, my colleagues sure are scallywags, they are. Ah, dearest me. They do mean well, of course. Despite their horrendous smell. It's even dangerous to go down below the deck because of....yes, well, I don't want to go into specifics in front of a lady. Even though Lotty was dying for every detail, weren't you Lotty?"
"YES! Gruesome, gory, garish greatness it was! Fun, fun, fun!"
"You know what's even more fun? Explosions! Oh, yes, there are plenty of fully-stocked barrels of gun powder on the fleet. Yessiree. But, we can't forget the time we had an octopus infestation. That was not pleasant at all. The good thing about that infestation, however, was we had plenty to eat for a good month. Octopus is quite good, actually. The sucker's suction cups are especially fun to chew on. Then every now and then, we'll come to port. Hit up the bars, the night clubs, have a bit of dancing gone and done, my peers do find it fun. Even though I do say they can be...nevermind. But, yes, now I am on leave from my crew. I actually have my own personal ship at port. Then I asked Lotty if she would join me. I do say it should be interesting. What do you say, Lotty?"
"YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! Cutiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiish. Let's do it! Woo! Doggy! You wanna go on a PIIIIIIIRATE ship? Huh? Huhhh?" Lotty picked up the dog and nuzzled his nose happily. The dog barked and was put on Lotty's head.
"That's a YEP! in doggy languaaaaaaaaaaage, Daney."
"Daney?"
"Daney's your name now!"
John looked to Cutish for a possible answer or reassurance, Cutish in reply stared at him and said "Danish, probably. Lotty, his name is John. Not Daney. I think you came up with that from Danish. Right? Well, call him John okay?"
"BUT I DUNT WANNNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" Lotty began to whine and tears were flooding her eyes and began streaming down her face. The trails of tears were beginning to get the dog's paws wet and her white tank was sticking to her skin.
"Okay....Okay! Fine."
"YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY! You hear that Mr. Pirate, sir? We're going to shippy ship!"
"What? No!"
"You said 'Okay.....Okay! Fine.' So let's go! Adventure tiiiiiime! Yippeee!" Lotty began bouncing around in circles while the dog tried his best to hang on while he barked as if calling for help from the two bystanders.
"Well, Miss Cutish, that is true."
Cutish immediately glared at Sir John and sighed.
"What choice do I have? That crazy girl has turned my world upside-down. I might as well go along for the ride."
"GROUP HUUUUUUUUUUG!" Lotty pounced on Cutish's back. Due to the shock, Cutish lost balance and ran into John who in turn stumbled onto the ground with Cutish, Lotty, and the dog on top of him.
"Picture, picture, picture!" Lotty exclaimed excitedly as she pulled out a polaroid camera from out of Cutish's pants pocket and took a picture of them all in disarray and Lotty was the only one who posed with a funny face purposely.
Cutish, still trying to figure out where she had a camera on her felt exasperated and simply groaned and let her head drop onto John's shoulder.
"Yay! Picture looks great! Good job, you guuuuuuys! Lotty's so happy! Now let's go to the shippy shiiiiiiiip, Daney-John!"
All of them couldn't help but stare at Lotty's amazingly wide grin and they all ended up bursting out laughing.

Chapter 8 YARRRRRRRR

Cutish threw herself on the couch, her anger boiling deep inside her. It wasn't long however before this rage began to settle and soon disappear. Dracula was still on after all, look at those pearly white sharp teeth, how dreamy! Anyone could get lost watching such an amazing film. Despite this, something was still bothering her, she felt something deep, very deep, maybe in the heart, or maybe her gut, maybe both. Deciding to discover what this new found feeling was, she lay down on the couch holding onto a pillow, staring blankly at the tv screen as the gears in her head turned.

Meanwhile Lotty was still observing the stars, captured by their glistening light until a shadowy figure passed by and made the bushes rustle. This sound startled her a lot, despite the snoring dog right beside her, so she jumped up and began to look around with her eyes wide open. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary, except for maybe a cat's cry in the distance, to which Lotty replied with a very loud "MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOWRRRRRR" before falling back to look at the stars again.

This second star gazing session was soon interrupted, this time by a man's voice.

"Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaar ye be the lightning baby from earlier, aye?"

Lotty sat up in a flash, looked closely at the man standing before her, and squealed like a very, very, very happy little girl, waking the dog in the process. 

"AYE AYE!!! I be that lightning baby!!!! What manner of business do ye have with me mister piiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiirate?????"

The man smiled and sat down to tell her a very long story, which of course Lotty could not register for the life of her, though a few words caught her attention, such as: adventure, pirates, scallywags, danger, explosions, octopus, night clubs, dancing, fun, apples, seagulls, ships, booze, discos, parrots, rainbows, big white fluffy clouds that looked like bunnies, flowers, skipping, singing and the best sentence ever "Would ye join me crew?" 

Before Lotty gave a reply however, the door behind her opened and a troubled Cutish stood there, almost completely hollow. Several minutes passed before her eyes widened after seeing this "pirate man" and she quickly slammed the door. Lotty pounced up and began excitedly banging on the door until a hand reached out from inside and pulled her in. 

"DID YOU SEE DID YOU SEE!!!???? IT'S MISTER PIRATE!!!! We saw him earlier on you know!!! He seems like a very nice man, he even invited me to join his crew!!! OMG we should totally go!!!!! We can do stuff like saaaaaaaailing, eaaaaaaaating, driiiiiiiiiiinkiiiiiiiing, siiiiiiiiiingiiiiing, daaaaaaaanciiiiiiiiiiiiing, sleeeeeeee-"

"NO WAY IN HELL!!!!! That guy obviously escaped from some mental institution!!!!! We should just lock the door and all the windows, then call the police!!!"

"NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!! Don't call the PO-leeeeeeeeeese!!!!! Pleeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaase!!!! You should hear his story!!! It's 100% true!!!!! I prooooomise!!!!"

Cutish, unwilling to continue arguing, nothing will get Lotty to listen anyways, sat down on a nearby chair and stared at Lotty with a concerned look on her face, before letting out a huge sigh and resting her head in her hand with a frown.

"OH YEAH!!! Why'd you let me back iiiiin? Hmmmmm? Didn't you want me to look at the pretty shiny sparkly glisteny bright stars aaaaaaaaaaaall night? And that carpet ride was awesome!!!!! WEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!! The cool air felt really good after that toooooo. That was so nice of choooooo!!!!!! You're so awesome, you deserve a glomp!!!!!"

"What!!!??? What are you going on about now woman???? Arrrrrrrgh whatever........ I let you back in because..... because....... it's supposed to get....um, a TON more chilly tonight, like, freeeeeezing, so I decided letting you sleep over for one night wouldn't hurt...... and that glomp isn't necessary, please don't feel the need to give me one, please"

"That's no way to taaaaaaaaalk, GLOMP TIIIIME!!!!!!"

Before Cutish could get away, Lotty quickly pounced upon her and squeezed with what seemed like a death grip to Cutish. Close to passing out, Lotty let go and let out a cry.

"DOGGEH!!!! I FORGOT DOGGEH!!!!!!"

Flinging the door open, Lotty found the dog sitting beside the crazy pirate man on the first door step, wagging it's tail due to attention being given. Cutish cautiously approached the pirate, phone in hand, ready to call the police in case and studyied his appearance. He sported an eyepatch, classic... but something was odd, this man had class you see, he had a monocle for his one good eye, gentlemanly, ain't it? She grunted and demanded his story.

"Well you see....."

here's Cutish XD